Clever daughter-in-law deals with her mother-in-law
To get married, you originally wanted to marry a person, but later you discovered that you were actually married to a family.
You find that in addition to listening to your husband, you have to respectfully listen to another woman.
Yes, that’s your mother-in-law, the woman who slapped your husband 20, 30 or decades before you appeared in your husband’s life.
Then you have to get along with her and have no choice.
The traditional education that Chinese women receive before marriage is often called: You have to treat your mother-in-law like your biological mother, so that you will get along well and you will become a true family.
Actually, this is not true.
I have a kind and innocent girlfriend who was very good. When she was just married, she copied the intimate and casual relationship between her mother and her mother to get along with her mother-in-law. It was true, straightforward, unobtrusive, and unobstructed.Then it made her mother-in-law so sad.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been frozen since the beginning, and has so far melted indefinitely.
She simply treats her mother-in-law directly as her mother, without bothering her words and deeds.
She lost points when she didn’t know where to offend the elderly.
Mother-in-law is not a mother-daughter, and the unscrupulous relationship between mother-in-law and mother-in-law is our good wish, not reality.
What you have to do is not to treat your mother-in-law as your mother-in-law, but to build a relationship that is more “iron” than your mother-in-law.
In other words, you have to be better, more filial, and more forgiving to her than to your own mother.
Because it is more difficult to get the heart of your mother-in-law than to get the heart of your biological mother!
This requires your double patience, love and time.
If you love your husband deeply and want to live with him happily, then be your best friend with your mother-in-law!
Make love with her, treat you with sincerity, use your love to affect her, and become the most reliable ally with her, and take care of those you all love.
A smart daughter-in-law should deal with the opposite mother-in-law. 1. Waterdrops are worn and gold stones are opened. “Change is a little bit, you can’t expect a 60-year-old mother-in-law to fully accept your values and consumption concepts overnight.
Too drastic changes will make the elderly feel insecure.
Qu Huichao, a 29-year-old civil servant, contributed her know-how-to change her mother-in-law’s old ideas and old habits. Don’t be rushed, take it little by little.
Qu Huichao’s mother-in-law brought a lot of old furniture when she moved to her new home. Even Qu’s husband couldn’t stand it, but as a daughter-in-law, Qu Huichao helped her mother-in-law talk and fully understood the old man’s old-fashioned psychology.
After moving to a new home, her mother-in-law took the initiative to eliminate old appliances that had been in collective service for more than ten years. Three months later, she also eliminated tables and chairs.
After several eliminations, the old furniture left behind can be called classic.
Huichao said: “I live with my mother-in-law, affecting her, and changing her concept of consumption can only be done little by little.
If it is not fair for her to force her mother-in-law to adapt to us, she will feel that she has lost control of her life and that her juniors will not respect her.
Once the resistance has arisen, it has become more difficult to change her frugality and nostalgia.
“2. Lies in good faith can be concealed.” If the mother-in-law lives together, the biggest contradiction is the contradiction in consumption.
“Liu Jiaxin’s coup is” when you can hide it. ”
She called her mother-in-law to buy skin care products for 300 yuan, and she lied to say that it was 30 yuan. When she bought a cashmere sweater of tens of yuan, she said that it was a “discount on sale” to a discount of one. “Everyone is rushing.
“With such a concealment, my mother-in-law used her peace of mind and was dressed up with enthusiasm.
What’s more, her mother-in-law had a serious illness. Liu Jiaxin mentioned that she would have to work part-time for her mother-in-law.
Liu Jiaxin sent her mother’s part-time workers to “voluntary labor.”
My mother-in-law knew after a year that her daughter-in-law paid 400 yuan a month for Aunt Zhang’s “volunteer labor”, but now, she can’t do without Aunt Zhang even if she lets her own money.
Because, the comfort and freedom brought by part-time workers has become a part of her life.
3, using the coaxial, expressing love, Li Nan’s mother-in-law’s gift-giving number, narrow-minded, so sulking, Li Nan’s Mid-Autumn Festival went out to participate in the company’s rewarding entertainment and cocktail party, and soon returned to her mother-in-law’s family reunion.Calling the past also called the father-in-law to express his disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Li Nan knows that at this time, she “speaks truth in facts” and explains how the cocktail party can alleviate conflicts with colleagues and create new network resources. Mother-in-law can’t listen to it, and often the more reasons you emphasize, the more mother-in-law will be.Angry, “Anyway, your things are important, only the old are not important.
“In a word, you can’t hold your breath.Li Nan called again, asking his son to prepare to yell at his father-in-law: “Grandpa, I want to talk to grandma.
“The mother-in-law’s iron-clad attitude was soft and doughy when she met the grandson’s sweet words.
It is absolutely clever to transcend the earlier rhetoric to bridge the contradiction between mother-in-law and mother-in-law.
Li Nan said with a smile, while the mother-in-law’s attitude was loose, you should hurry up to give the steps, don’t pretend to be reserved, try to make a difference.
The older the mother-in-law, the closer she was to the child, to coax, to satisfy her wish, to admit defeat.
4, Heart to heart, role replaced by 26-year-old Jiang Zijia’s newlywed Yaner, has always been used to unveiling her husband’s “series of scandals” at the reunion dinner table, and directing him to add soup.
As a result, Jiang Zijia found that every time she half-truthedly commanded her husband and teased her husband, her mother-in-law’s face was not good-looking.
“Their generation is probably used to respecting each other as guests, and it is difficult to accept this ‘abusive’ emotional expression.
“Zijia was aggrieved at first, but then figured it out,” Every time I am 55 years old, my own son is drunk by his ‘savage daughter-in-law’. Will I be happy?
I will also feel bad.
All mothers in the world have a lovely selfishness.
After consciously transposition thinking, Zijia began to show her “obedience to her husband” in the face of her mother-in-law, showing rare obedience. As a result, her mother-in-law rejoiced, but warned her son: “Do not bullyZijia, how can I support her . In the family of three generations, “the relationship between mother and daughter” is the most difficult scripture to read.
How to learn to live in harmony with her mother-in-law is a practical issue that modern daughter-in-law has to face.
It is an art to live in harmony with mother-in-law and must pay attention to skills and methods.
The author interviewed three new daughters-in-law and found that they are all working to solve this difficult family problem. Let us look at their tricks!
Tip one: respect and respect Yang Xiaoli (staff, 29 years old) I have been married for 4 years. The relationship between mother-in-law and mother-in-law has been handled quite well. When talking about the experience of getting along, I benefit from the “three-three-three” relationship with my mother-in-law.
The so-called “three noes” is to count the husband in front of her mother-in-law.
Actually, something unpleasant happened to my husband and I, I never counted in front of my mother-in-law and complained about my husband.
Because my mother-in-law always protects my son, if I count my husband, it is actually a denial of my mother-in-law, which will make her mother-in-law very shameless.
The second is too close to her husband in front of her mother-in-law.
My husband and I live in a yard with my parents. I love my husband in particular, but I have never been too close to my husband in front of my mother-in-law.
Because of these “nausea” actions, the mother-in-law will feel that her daughter-in-law is arguing with her, which will inevitably cause her mother-in-law’s resentment.
The third is not to treat yourself as an outsider.
Some things about being a daughter-in-law are not done right. I will often be told a word or two by my mother-in-law.
Since I came to this house, I haven’t regarded myself as an outsider. Since I did something wrong, it should be said a few words, my mother-in-law is an elder.
The so-called “three more” is to praise the mother-in-law’s virtue.
I often talk to my neighbors about the advantages of my mother-in-law. After listening, my mother-in-law liked me.
The second is to ask for more reports.
As a wife-in-law, you have to report to your mother-in-law for everything. This shows both filial piety to the mother-in-law and respect for her.
The third is to regret to mother-in-law.
Many things in the family are not affectionate. If the wife-in-law often hangs “I’m sorry”, her mother-in-law will feel very comfortable.
”Three, three and more” sum up in one sentence: respect mother-in-law and don’t conflict with mother-in-law.
When the typical mother-in-law makes me unsatisfied, I meditate “Three, Three, Three” in my heart.
In this way, you can avoid the theory on the spot and your mother-in-law, so that the inconsistency will not be out of control.
Tip two: Caring for Hu Jinxiu (news reporter, 24 years old) My mother-in-law is a smart, capable, hardworking woman.
She is not highly educated, but she is good at housekeeping. For decades, she persists in all the housework at home without regrets.
After I got married, my mother-in-law was so happy that I thought I had an extra helper. Who knew that I knew nothing about housework.
The mother-in-law was deeply disappointed. Her dissatisfaction was expressed both inside and outside the word, and the signs of discord between mother-in-law and mother-in-law had begun to appear.
I was appointed after the grievances. At home, I was not a journalist, but a wife-in-law, so I decided to adapt to this new role as soon as possible.
Her mother-in-law never gave her birthday at home, but her father-in-law and son’s birthday never passed away.On her 50th birthday, I organized a grand birthday party for her, booked a private room in a four-star hotel, and invited all my friends and relatives.
When everyone toasted her and blessed her, her mother-in-law cried excitedly.
She said, “It’s good to have a birthday in a restaurant, it’s just too wasteful.
“So, I took the initiative to go to the kitchen and learn from my mother-in-law about cooking.
My mother-in-law was very happy and taught me my cooking experience.
Slowly, my cooking skills have grown, and my mother-in-law gradually handed over part of the housework to me.
The mother-in-law’s personality is a bit lonely, and sometimes she gets angry for no reason, making people defenseless.
I understand her mother-in-law’s mood. Whenever her temper comes up, I play with her with a hippie smile, and her fire is mostly gone.
Every morning, I make her two sweet eggs that she loves; in the evening, I leave her hands to talk to her and tell her new things outside.
I usually buy her some food and clothes she likes, and often talk with her mother-in-law about some common topics, so that she does not feel lonely.
She was ill and I took good care of it and tried to supplement her with food.
Every time her mother-in-law said, “My wife, I didn’t say anything!
“While my mother-in-law changed me, I also changed my mother-in-law.
My mother-in-law is very happy and feels that I have one more daughter. In the common life, my relationship with my mother-in-law is getting closer and closer.
Tip three: Treating contradictions Zheng Huijuan (teacher, 34 years old) The mother-in-law belongs to two generations. It is not surprising that there are differences in concepts.
The index of age difference, the worse the adaptability.
It is difficult for the elderly to get rid of the temperament that has developed over the decades.
As a daughter-in-law, you should understand this, be more modest and even accommodate.
Elderly people have strong self-esteem. After an argument, the daughter-in-law should develop some styles and take the initiative to break through the deadlock.
My mother-in-law is a very frugal person. Especially on the issue of dress, she still adheres to the old generation’s traditional concept of “three years new, three years old, and sewing for another three years.”
As a professional woman in the new era, I am pursuing “every day changes.”
In this way, my mother-in-law and I each insisted on each other and could not agree with each other.
However, I always buy clothes, but contradictions cannot exist for a long time. Since I cannot fight bravely, I think of “fighting wisdom”: lying.
Because my mouth is sweet.
The first is the price reduction method.
Every time I buy new clothes, my mother-in-law is very concerned about the price of the clothes. I used to report truthfully that my mother-in-law’s response was: “So expensive, it is equivalent to one month’s living expenses.
“This is the exchange algorithm commonly used by mother-in-law.
Later, I learned the method of discounting at the mall, based on the purchase price, 50% off and then 50% off, and reported a price that my mother-in-law could agree with.
The second is to please the law.
Heart of beauty in everyone.
Mother-in-law is not unloving, but she values frugality more.
Every time I buy new clothes for myself, I don’t forget to pick one for my mother-in-law.
Taking the clothes home, my mother-in-law complained of my “spending money”, but she couldn’t hide her smile.
At this time, my mother-in-law often ignored my “waste” because of my mind, and her criticism was also gentle and gentle, and no longer lethal.
Ever since I used it twice, my mother-in-law and I have rarely been upset by buying new clothes.
Be clever without harming each other and minimize conflicts. Why not?
“Let’s find the big differences and the small differences”, this is the way to get along with each other.